Wherever, whatever, have a nice day

Moving on?

2011-04-24T20:52:00.000+02:00

I'm moving, again. Rents are going crazy. Landlords getting greedy.

Well it's actually not new to me.

As much as I like the new place I'm moving to, I really still don't like moving. The physical part - packing, going through stuff, throwing stuff, unpacking... The going through stuff part is the most annoying. Often it unleashes a few monsters.

Albeit the small size of my current flat, I managed to put away a few things, totally hidden for the past two years.

While frantically packing this afternoon, I found some hidden "treasure". Not.

Some old candles and candle holders. Not a big deal really and I may as well just throw them away. Wait... What are these?

Right.

Two candles and a flower thingy. Shite. He sent those to me. Five years ago. I was so happy when I opened the parcel. I wanted to light the candles at once but didn't as I didn't want them to vanish with the flames. I couldn't see him as often as we wished and so I wanted to hang on to every little thing that has to do with him.

But like any candles and flames, we didn't last. We still exchange news from time to time though.

The last time I moved, he was asking me how it all went etc. This time around, I don't think I'll be getting a word from him. He just seemed to have disappeared.

Then I started to pack my CDs. And there they were, the two CDs I had been listening to non-stop that year.

Sigh...

Panic Birthday Dinner

2010-11-03T14:26:00.003+01:00

My mom’s birthday was early October so obviously this is a very late post…

The whole family already had the birthday dinner the weekend before the actual date and I thought I could just give her the tiramisu on the day. That afternoon, I called to say happy birthday and then I realised dad wouldn’t be coming home for dinner. So I told mom I would cook for her.

After I hung up, major panic kicked in. I had no idea what to cook. And I didn’t have much time to shop and actually cook!!! Should I do pasta? Boring. Steak? Nah, she doesn’t like it that much. What does she like to eat? Well, pizza… but how the hell was I gonna make a pizza?! Oh, wait, she likes tabouleh!

I wouldn’t have the time to chop all those tomatoes and cucumber and parsley. Plus I would have to think of another hot / meat dish to go with the salad. So, no tabouleh. Instead, I’d make a simple one pot dinner with couscous.

Couscous with Chorizo and Chickpeas

Ingredients

1 cup couscous
olive oil
chorizo, sliced
1 tsp paprika
1 can chickpeas, drained
425ml chicken stock
chopped parsley, to serve

Method

Prepare couscous according to the packet’s instructions.
Heat olive oil in a large pan and stir fry the chorizo for 3-4 mins.
Stir in the paprika, then tip in the chickpeas and the chicken stock.
Simmer for 2 mins. Spoon over the couscous and scatter with chopped parsley.
Serve with a mixed leaf salad with lemon olive oil dressing.

She beamed when she saw it’s couscous and that meant a lot to me. It feels good to cook for my parents. They always tell me it’s nice (whether it’s true or not, I don’t really care). Whereas my various attempts to cook for someone else never yielded this kind of result.

Birthday and Housewarming Tiramisu

2010-11-03T09:36:00.004+01:00

In answer to my mom’s subtle (really?) request for a tiramisu (see the second last paragraph of this post), I decided to make one for her birthday last month.

It was at least five years ago that I last made a tiramisu and I already lost the recipe. Well I do know what ingredients I’ll need and the steps are easy to remember but it was the quantity that I wasn’t sure of. So I searched the web and eventually combined a few recipes into this:

Tiramisu

Ingredients

3 eggs, separated
1.5 tablespoons white sugar
1 tub (approx. 455g) mascarpone cheese
1 tablespoons Baileys
1 tablespoon Cointreau
1 cups very strong coffee
12-15 ladyfinger cookies
Cocoa powder to dust

Method

Brew coffee. Let it cool to room temperature. Add half tablespoon Baileys and half tablespoon Cointreau. Set aside.
In large mixing bowl, beat egg yolks and sugar with electric mixer until light yellow, about 1 minute. Beat in mascarpone and the remaining Baileys and Cointreau until smooth.
In a separate bowl, beat egg whites until stiff, but not dry. Fold egg whites into mascarpone mixture.
Quickly dip ladyfingers, one at a time, in the coffee liqueur mixture and arrange them in a deep baking dish. Spread half the mascarpone mixture over the ladyfinger layer. Repeat the soaked ladyfingers and mascarpone layers.
Cover tightly with plastic wrap and refrigerate 4 hours or overnight.
When serving, divide portions of the tiramisu on plates. Don’t worry if it kind of falls apart a little. It’s meant to be a little sloppy. Dust cocoa powder over the tiramisu and serve.

* You can substitute with other liqueurs. The original Tiramisu calls for Masala wine. But Kahlua, Tia Maria, Amaretto will work just fine.

* You can use brewed coffee or instant ones.

I’m sure if you try making one, you’ll never want to eat those served in restaurants.

This surely is easy to make and will definitely impress your friends and family. Mom and dad both liked it and I couldn’t resist a second helping that night.

I made this again last week for my friend’s house-warming party. It seemed to go down well. And the next day, my friend told me she saw some of the boys literally licked their plates clean. I was so proud of myself haha.

沉默的消夜時間

2010-11-03T08:31:00.002+01:00

見到她，想起他。沒去找他，卻從他想到另一個他。這個他，更加找不得。

想著想著，又想哭了。

Late night baking

2010-09-26T10:04:00.000+02:00

It was a Friday night. I had dinner with a friend who's just been back from a business trip. We were both stressed out from work and other stupid things in our lives and were seriously in need of a bitchy girly talk. After some delicious Thai food and a couple of drinks, we felt much better and headed home.

By the time I got home, I wasn't dead tired or drunk as I normally would on a Friday night. So I decided to bake a simple chocolate cake. (or was I actually very drunk?)

Double chocolate loaf cake

Ingredients

175g butter
175g golden caster sugar
3 eggs
140g self-raising flour
Half tsp baking powder
100ml milk
85g ground almonds
4 tbsp cocoa powder
50g plain chocolate chips or chunks

Method

Heat oven to 160C
Line a loaf tin with baking parchment
Beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy
Beat in eggs, flour, almonds, baking powder, milk and cocoa powder until smooth
Stir in choc chips and scrape into the tin
Bake for 55-60 mins until golden and risen
Cool on a wire rack

It turned out nice, soft and light but I didn't take any photos. Well a chocolate cake is a chocolate cake...

Had a slice the next morning as breakfast. Brought some for the chef but he never told me whether he liked it. Did he even try it?

Brought some to my girlfriends on the next day when we went on a boat trip. I hope they liked it too.

Gave the remaining to my parents when I went to have dinner with them. They both said it's better than the honeyed almond crunch cake I made last time. Then, two minutes later, mom said "Oh, you used to make tiramisu, right? Can you make that again some time?"

Sure. Mom, you're so cute.

Lazy sticky food

2010-08-26T18:33:00.000+02:00

I was tempted to have pasta for dinner tonight, again. Not that I don't like pasta but I think I've had too much carbs lately. Also, my pasta repertoire is quite limited and I don't really want to eat the same thing again and again and again.

Obviously I wanted something easy to make. With the leftover honey from the cake I made earlier in the week and the lemons I bought (for salad dressing and as the fridge's odour-absorber), here's my lazy dish of the day.

Sticky lemon chicken

Ingredients

2 pieces of chicken fillet
1 lemon
1.5 tbsp honey
Seasoning

Method

Preheat oven (about 160C)
Lightly brush oil on a baking dish
Place chicken on the dish, season with salt and pepper
Bake for 6 minutes
Meanwhile, cut two slices of lemon
Take out the chicken, turn over and sprinkle with more seasoning. Put a slice of lemon on each of the fillet
Drizzle with honey and then squeeze over the juice of the remaining lemon
Return to the oven for a further 10 minutes until the chicken is golden and cooked through
Serve with a salad or steamed veggies. Or, if you don't mind the extra work and extra carbs, you can have rice or potatoes.

Not so crazy and definitely not lazy food

2010-08-26T18:08:00.000+02:00

As I mentioned in the previous post, I finally managed to try baking something new.

Honey cake with honeyed almond crunch
I got the recipe from here.

When I first read the recipe, I thought it's very easy. But me being me, things always have to come with surprises. Right before I finished work in the office, I took one more look at the recipe and realized I missed out something very important. I needed to whisk egg whites. My arms are more Olive Oyl than Popeye, hm... And so i had to go buy an electric beater! Well I figured I'll need it for other cakes anyway but it's just annoying that I had to make a detour and stop by the department store...

In the end the cake turned out ok although slightly burnt at the edges. Plus I managed to burn my thumb too. Typical me.

Obviously I can't finish it all. Gave a few slices to my parents who were so happy to see that their daughter can and does actually cook.

Also gave one slice to the chef, trying to kick away his blues. Glad that he said it's not bad. But maybe he's just saying. I still have the feeling that he really doesn't care. But like he said, the cake was not the point.

Well, then what's the point then? If you would show me please...

Dizzy lazy food

2010-08-26T17:40:00.002+02:00

I haven't been cooking much lately. For the past couple of weeks I've been thinking to start baking again but procrastination always wins...

Finally on Monday I decided to bake something simple, no matter what. So after work I quickly went to get everything that I needed and rushed home. Although the cake was simple enough to make, by the time I put it in the oven, it was already 10pm. As I was washing the messy bowls and stuff, I suddenly felt very dizzy. It was really quite bad. I almost fainted. It was then that I realized, oh right, I hadn't had dinner. No wonder.

So after I regained my energy, I made a simple noodle.

Cold soba noodle with crab meat

Ingredients

Soba noodles
Crab meat (crab leg actually. got from the supermarket when I did the shopping for the cake ingredients)
Dipping sauce
Nori sesame mix

Method

Cook the noodles in boiling water for 5-6 minutes
Drain and rinse the noodles with cold water a few times (so that noodles are completely cold)
Put noodles in serving bowl. Place crab meat on top
Sprinkle with nori and sesame mix
Serve with dipping sauce

As you can see, it's really simple. But tasty and it definitely saved my life.

Dreaming again

2010-08-20T20:51:00.001+02:00

Once again I was weak. Thought it was going to stop. I managed just one week.

Saw your little message and my heart skipped a beat.

You seemed all right and we texted for a bit. Then all of a sudden you ignored me again. Did I say something wrong?

Five hours later, early in the morning, came your message. You said you weren't happy. What's wrong? I asked. But you didn't tell me.

OK, go to sleep my dear. You must be tired.

I fell back to sleep. In that short 20 minutes before I needed to wake up and go to work, you met me in my dream. What we did, where we were, what we said, I totally forgot now. But that's not important really, no?

How far can I go?

2010-08-11T19:13:00.005+02:00

三年前，那位俄羅斯有婦之夫說：「其實你不知道你自己的底線吧。」 (I don't think you realise how far you can go) 當時我有點嬲，who do you think you are? 你以為很了解我嗎？

然後，他離開了香港。

三年後的今日，我竟然被另一個他不斷測試及挑戰我的底線。到目前為止，他很成功。我的底線就如無底深潭，要幾低有幾低。

現在他竟然同我細訴如何周旋於眾多女伴之中！好像我還要同情他。這，究竟是甚麼意思？

我知道，在他心裡，在他眼中，我再沒有吸引力。

我的紋身不再性感；我的打扮不再吸引；我那口音不再有趣；我給他的意外不再是驚喜。

再沒有說笑話逗我開心；再沒有為我彈結他；再沒有對我說想跟我生個小孩；再沒有將來。

或許從來沒有愛。那倒沒所謂，乾脆老實跟我說便行了。奈何男人都是貪心（花心？）的。多留一個喜歡自己的女人在身邊也好呀。

如此這般，我便繼續這樣下去。明知沒有結果。身邊的朋友都說不值得，我卻還認為他們不明白。其實，我一早已經明白一切。但，明白和接受可以是兩碼子事。

直到最近，我好像突然成為他傾訴心事的對象。為甚麼？那喋喋不休的獨白，跟我何干？前言不對後語的每個故事，也令我心裡不好受，卻因為要面子，還要裝成沒甚麼大不了的樣子。說到其中一位我也有過一面之緣的她，那殘酷冷漠的態度，令我頓然醒來：我在他心目中，大概跟這位女子一樣，只是一個無關痛癢，卻又久不久為他帶來煩惱的人吧。

累了，睡吧。

乜我哋真係咁捍衛廣東話咩？咪講笑啦！ Do we really love our mother tongue?

2010-08-02T16:06:00.001+02:00

這邊廂有穗港兩地的熱血青年上街保衛廣州話，那邊廂一眾港孩的父母卻前仆後繼，唔理三七廿一，明知自己的英文半桶水，卻全力堅持對子女只講英文。

英文，並唔係咁學㗎。

While we are excited about the young people from Guangzhou and Hong Kong taking it to the streets to defend our mother tongue Cantonese, isn't it an irony that a lot of parents in Hong Kong insist in speaking to their children ONLY in their broken English?

crazy lazy food 2

2010-03-16T14:39:00.001+01:00

Had a very late lunch at 4pm today. And was contemplating skipping dinner tonight. Then the voice of my Chinese doctor (along with my mom and other friends) rang in my ear... "You must eat more. You must eat more. You must eat more". Creepy...

So I gave in.

As I didn't buy any food for the night, my only resort was whatever I could find in my cupboard. Well, I wasn't doing too bad. I could at least come up with 4 dishes:
1. Spaghetti with tuna in cream sauce
2. Noodle in soup with corn
3. Baked beans and fried eggs
4. Oatmeal / porridge
And all fit in with my "one pot" policy !

And the winner was number 1, Spaghetti with tuna in cream sauce. Although number 4 would be a wiser choice given that I'm still recovering from flu and therefore should eat something more healthy. But me being me, I always opt for something irrational.

As usual, I improvise as I cooked and ended up with something slightly different than what I first imagined.

Here we go.

Ingredients:

Spaghetti
1 Tin of tuna (soaked in oil)
Whipping cream
Chilli flakes
Manchego cheese, cut into small pieces (yeah, just found that in the fridge)
1 Egg, beaten
Xiaoxing wine (or any wine you have)

Method

Cook the spaghetti (or pasta of your choice) according to instruction on the package
Heat the pot, add oil (taken from the tin of tuna) and chilli flakes
Add the tuna, cook over low heat. Stir gently so the tuna don't stay as huge chunks
Add whipping cream
Add spaghetti when the sauce starts to bubble
Add manchego cheese. Stir to mix all ingredients well
Add Xiaoxing wine when the cheese are melted. Turn to high heat
Turn off heat when the wine is more or less evaporated
Stir in the egg
Serve

Again, no photos and can't even give correct quantities/measurements of the ingredients.

P.S. Was talking to a friend just this afternoon and we're wondering how come there are so many Italian restaurants in town. And maybe that's one of reasons I chose to cook something remotely Italian tonight?

My n-th monologue

2010-03-14T15:33:00.000+01:00

Can't believe it's been a year. I've been a classic fool for a year.

I have to admit that there's been loads of good times. But mostly, I felt lost, lonely and sad.

The Chinese astrology said that last year was not really a good one for me. Turned out, the worst and best things happened to me was actually the same thing.

It's always hard to say goodbye. But I guess I have got to be the one doing it.

And I did. It didn't turn out the way I expected. I was angry but all the better. At least I did it and I saw the ugly side of it all.

It wasn't a clean cut though. I was weak...

But for some strange reasons, I felt better now. I think I'm ready now. To move on.

Take care of yourself.

Crazy lazy food

2010-02-21T15:29:00.010+01:00

I love food but am no foodie. I enjoy cooking from time to time but most of the time it's out of practicality - I've got to eat something, right? I can't afford to go to fancy restaurants all the time and I don't want to have another 茶餐廳 (local version of the greasy spoon) meal after a long day's work. So I tend to make something quick, usually only involves one pot/pan to minimize the pain of washing up. And sometimes I ended up doing something crazy for various reasons.

Last night, after going to my grandma's place for a belated 拜年 (Chinese New Year ritual - visiting your seniors), it's still early and the market hasn't closed yet. So I wandered around with no idea what to cook for the night. I thought of making a soup with cabbage, tomato and corn. But after I got the tomatoes, I passed by the fish monger and thought, "oh I haven't had fish for a while." I finally got a filet of some kind of white fish (don't ask me, I don't even know its Chinese name).

So then I started to think what should I do with the fish... And here's what:

Tray-baked filet of I-have-no-idea-what-fish-this-is with cabbage and tomatoes

Ingredients:

Filet of fish, any fish
1 small cabbage (coarsely chopped)
2-3 tomatoes (cut in wedges)
Salt and pepper for seasoning
Ginger (few small pieces, squash them)

Method:

Pre-heat oven (around 220 degrees)
Drizzle oil on a baking dish (I use a disposable foil tray)
Put the chopped cabbage in the baking dish, drizzle a bit more oil on it
Cover with aluminium foil and cook in oven for 10mins
Meanwhile, rub salt and pepper on both sides of the fish
Take out the tray from oven. Put the fish on top of the cabbage, add the ginger and tomatoes and cover with foil
Put back tray in the oven and cook for 20mins (depending on the thickness of the filet)
Serve

* don't waste the remaining juice in the tray. it's yummy too. oh and I think you may also add some white wine in it.

P.S. All quantities, oven temperatures, cooking time are arbitrary. I'm not a professional cook and I just learn as I cook ;P

P.P.S. Sorry I didn't take any photo... Use your imagination.

閱讀報告一：戀人絮語 | A Lover’s Discourse

2010-02-11T08:47:00.001+01:00

原名：Fragments d’un discours amoureux；英譯本：A Lover’s Discourse
作者：Roland Barthes (羅蘭‧巴特)

大家都說法國人很浪漫，我覺得只是一廂情願的想法。反而我認為法國人都喜愛分析、討論、辯駁。他們很多時候都思路清晰、見解獨特，別忘記法國出了很多有名的思想家、哲學家。而法國的教育很重視培養學生的思巧、辯論能力，他們從小就要上哲學課。當然，法國人喜愛談戀愛也是事實。(試問又有誰不喜歡呢？)

那麼，從哲學家的角度看愛情又會是如何？

戀人絮語是法國哲學家、思想家、符號學家羅蘭‧巴特的晚期作品，發表於1977年。

巴特透過愛到不能自拔的主角，以不同的符號，絮絮道出戀愛中的百般感受，以及剪不斷，理還亂的情緒，嘗試將愛情解構。到底，戀愛就是不理性的，我們又怎能作出準確分析呢？

某年從一個愉快難忘的法國假期回來，便買了這本書看。很不習慣這種文體，而且對書中提到的多位哲學家、思想家都不太認識，於是邊讀邊搔頭。可幸也有共鳴的地方。事隔數年，再次閱讀，仍然有很多不明白之處，可是感覺比之前更深。甜的更甜，苦的更苦。發現自己過了這幾年，仍然沒有學乖。

如果再有人問我，法國人是否很浪漫，我還是那句：我覺得我浪漫啲囉。

People always say the French are romantic. I just think it’s simply what we wanted to believe in. A cliché, a myth. On the contrary, I believe the French like to analyze, discuss and debate. Very often they are clear-headed and can come up with unique view points. Don’t forget that France is home to numerous great thinkers and philosophers. The French education system also encourages pupils to develop critical thinking and analytical abilities. From an early age, children start to take philosophy class at school. But well, the French do love to be in love too. I mean, who doesn’t?

So, what is love through the eyes of a philosopher?

A Lover’s Discourse, written by French philosopher, thinker and semiotician Roland Barthes, was first published in 1977.

Barthes presents all the signs of love through the narrator of the book, The Lover, who is eternally deeply in love. All the feelings, emotions, symbols, language of The Lover and The Other are meticulously analyzed. But love is intrinsically irrational. How are we going to deconstruct, analyze and make sense of it?

A few years ago I bought this book after an unforgettable, blissful trip to France. This type of literature was new to me. On top of that, I’m quite ignorant in the Western philosophers mentioned throughout the book. I found it a difficult read and didn’t really get much from it. There were bits and pieces that I could comprehend and like a lot though. Now, picking up the book again, there are still lots that I don’t understand but then something hit me deeper than last time. The sweetness got sweeter and the bitterness got worse. And I realize after these years, I haven’t learned a bit.

If someone asks me again whether the French are romantic, I’d say “I AM the romantic one.”

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之五：新年快樂 | Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 5: Happy New Year

2010-02-03T07:23:00.001+01:00

Yes, I know I'm a month late to write about my new year celebrations. Must admit I've been procrastinating... (by the way, one of my new year resolutions is to kick this bad habit...)

Right, back to the subject.

I was planning to have a very quiet New Year's Eve. I just couldn't see myself going to Lan Kwai Fong or Wan Chai just to get myself drunk. I can pretty much do that any other day.

That day I left office after lunch and went to meet up a friend and spent some great time together. After that I needed to go pick up some stuff for my dear friend (but that's another complicated story) before going home for dinner.

Mid-night arrived unceremoniously as I watched Madonna's concert on DVD. I was about to send a text to wish a few friends happy new year when J texted me to see if I wanted to go out. And I thought why not? By the time I got ready to go out, half of the crazy crowd on the streets would have been gone. It would be bearable. Besides, I hadn't gone out with J for quite a while. So, to Wan Chai we went...

There were still a lot of people out there but not as bad as I thought. Most of them were actually on their way home. The two of us went to an English pub. We didn't want anything fancy. Just a (relatively) decent place where we could sit down and talk would be good enough.

We were about to finish our drinks and go when a young guy asked if he could sit next to us. Well, why not?

Then his friend sat down as well. J and I were literally stuck between them.

Then they started talking.

"What's your name?"
"Where are you from?"

** yawn ** how boring...

"Where do you live?"
I said, "Hong Kong." (you stupid)

"Yes, but where?"
"Hong Kong Island." (sigh)

"But where in Hong Kong island?"
"Why would I tell you?"

"OK, let me guess. Pao Ma Dei?"
"Oh, so that's the only place you know how to say in Cantonese (and in a bad accent)? Nope, I don't live in Happy Valley."

"Er, you look posh. The Peak?"
"I'm not posh. No." (eyes rolling)

"OK, Repulse Bay."

At this point, it was getting so stupid that it's actually funny. The other guy tried to say something else so that we wouldn't think they're creeps. J and I were trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

"Oh, I know I know. Stanley!"
"Erm... actually yes." I said. "We're from Stanley Prison. It's New Year's Eve and we got half day release. You see those four big guys at the door? They're the guards. They'll make sure we go back there safely, in less than half and hour."

It's very easy to BS when you're a little tipsy.

And that was obviously the biggest, worst, stupidest hint to tell them we really didn't want to talk to them any more. They finally gave us peace.

Don't say we're mean. We had been very patient with them. But there must be something more interesting to talk about than to find out where people live?

Or maybe I'm just too old for that.

Things better left unsaid

2010-01-01T16:12:00.000+01:00

Don't tell me how you feel if you don't want me to be part of your life.

Don't tell me how sad you are if you have no intention to change your situation.

Don't tell me your problems if you don't want me to say anything.

Don't tell me you love me if nothing else is gonna change.

A lot of things are better left unsaid.

I know the road ahead is tough. So don't give me more problems than I already have.

I'm just glad to have you by my side, for now. Let's just enjoy the silence.

Merry Christmas

2009-12-24T18:05:00.000+01:00

I'm writing this while still recovering from the bliss and hangover from last night's party.

At first I was only expecting a small gathering with a few friends over a couple of drinks. As it turned out, I'm lucky enough to have more than a few friends. Even the one I least expected to see (but secretly hoped for) made it finally.

Drinks downed, conversations flowed, jokes cracked, laughter echoed, hugs and kisses exchanged. What else do you need?

"Happy birthday and merry Christmas"

Yes, I'm stuck with that all my life. And I'm glad you said that.

Dream on

2009-12-08T19:24:00.008+01:00

I used to like dreaming. It often brought me to a fantasy world full of interesting things and people.

As I get older, dreams don't come so easily. Most of the time I can't even afford a 5-hour sleep. Dreams have slowly become a luxury for me these days.

Then suddenly one night last week, I dreamt. I dreamt of him. He who left suddenly for two weeks. I dreamt that he's back. Back for good.

Obviously it was too good to be true. I knew it even before I woke up.

A few hours later I got his email.

This is the kind of coincidence that I love and hate. Love that I seem to be one step closer. Hate that it's all just a dream.

And then I thought, have I missed all the wake up calls? Should I have left all this behind long ago?

Sigh...

"I sigh when you sigh". Really?

Where is the light?

2009-10-29T17:09:00.002+01:00

I was talking to my colleague this afternoon and she suddenly asked, "Do you realize it's 29 October already?"

Time flies. It seems like yesterday that we're having fun on the boat, enjoying the summer sun. And look now, we're all set for the Christmas promotions.

And I'm still in that awful mess. I can't believe it's been more than six months.

It only took two months or so to send me from heaven to hell... And I'm still there. It will probably go on like this for a very long time.

Do I really want to get out of this? I don't know any more.

Silly. You said.

Reading Michel Houellebecque ‧ 解讀Michel Houellebecque

2009-10-20T10:49:00.004+02:00

Michel Houellebecque, one of my favourite French writers. His thoughts and views are very unique and controversial. And I like the way he tells a story. Below is an article about Houellebecque from this issue's Paroles.

Michel Houellebecque 是我很喜歡的法國作家。他的思想、見解很獨特。說故事的方式也頗有趣。當然，我未夠斤兩去解讀他。以下是今期《Paroles 東西譚》的文章。

P.S. The latest Iggy Pop album Préliminaires was inspired by Houellebecque’s novel La Possibilité d’une île (The Possibility of an Island).

http://www.alliancefrancaise.com.hk/paroles/numeros/219/05.htm

Michel Houellebecq est un optimiste !

Michel Houellebecq est un homme aux visages multiples. Poète, écrivain, scénariste, réalisateur, il lui arrive aussi d’être chanteur, plus exactement de poser sa voix sur de la musique. Décalé, grinçant, agressif parfois, il est en tout cas une passion bien française. La sortie d’un de ses livres est un événement qui éclipse systématiquement le reste de l’actualité littéraire. La critique s’emballe. Pour certains, c’est un génie, un Camus, un Céline. Pour d’autres, c’est un poseur, un dandy imposteur. La critique passe son temps à chercher s’il est de droite ou de gauche, raciste ou misogyne, partouzeur ou pédophile. Et si, de tout cela, Michel Houellebecq n’avait que faire, si ce n’est que de savamment brouiller les pistes pour entretenir sa propre légende ? Car enfin, que propose-t-il qui à ce point divise la critique d’une façon tellement inconciliable ? Que nous dit-il de tellement irritant ? La réponse à ces questions est forcément complexe et plurielle, tant l’homme est fluide et se complait à échapper aux habituelles simplifications.

Avant tout, on peut lire les romans de Michel Houellebecq comme une entreprise esthétique cohérente qui s’emploie à déplacer notre perspective sur le monde contemporain. Dans un style de narration assez classique, il nous invite dans une ambiance de romans d’anticipation et sur le ton de l’humour tragique à nous arrêter un instant. Michel Houellebecq demande simplement à ses lecteurs de couper le téléphone, d’éteindre la télévision et de ne rien acheter pendant quelques instants en faisant « un pas de coté », et, dans ce décalage, de sentir la puissance de l’individu qui appréhende le monde du dehors de l’aliénation marchande. Pour lui, c’est ce pas de coté qui redonne du sens, qui nous fait reprendre conscience que la liberté de choix n’est pas la liberté, que libéralisé ne veut pas dire libre. Deux thèmes parallèles sont au cœur de l’enfer houellebecqien du présent : la marchandisation et le sexe. Pour lui le libéralisme économique comme le libéralisme sexuel crée des effets de paupérisation absolue. À la misère et au chômage répondent l’onanisme et la solitude. À la source de l’œuvre, donc, il y a la souffrance. Et la transformation du champ de la séduction en marché libéralisé en fait une souffrance d’ordre sexuel (Extension du domaine de la lutte, 1994), dont Michel Houellebecq entrevoit deux solutions possibles. Tout d’abord, dans un élan proche du bouddhisme, il s’agit d’anéantir la source du mal, le désir. Michel Houellebecq voit la science – la reproduction non sexuée, par clonage – comme une possible éradication du désir et des excès qu’il entraine (Les particules élémentaires, 1998). L’autre solution est l’institutionnalisation d’une économie planétaire du désir (Plateforme, 2001). Ainsi, en faisant un travail d’anticipation autour de sujets sensibles – clonage humain, tourisme sexuel, terrorisme – les romans de Michel Houellebecq font scandales. La critique l’accuse des pires excès et les noms d’oiseaux fusent sans retenue. Il y a autour de lui une tendance lourde à associer l’auteur d’un roman aux propos de son narrateur. Tendance qu’accentuent les louvoiements volontaires et certainement amusés de l’écrivain. Pourtant, si scandale il y a, c’est moins dans le futur proche que dans les prémisses qui y conduisent, à savoir le monde actuel. En pénétrant l’absurdité mercantile de la société moderne d’un regard analytique extrêmement précis, Michel Houellebecq ne fait que pousser au bout de sa logique le monde tel qu’il le lit et donne à ses lecteurs la distance critique nécessaire face au culte de la jouissance, logique culturelle du capitalisme tardif (Chassay, nc). Il cerne une société libérale dont le domaine de lutte s’étend désormais aux relations humaines dans leur quête d’amour et de sexualité débridée, sur fond de domination, de pouvoir financier, de peur et de mort (Robitaille, 2004).

Or, on trouve dans la charge de Michel Houellebecq contre l’idéologie du désir une rupture générationnelle qui explique une partie de la rage critique qu’il déclenche, en France en tout cas. Après 1945, la société occidentale s’est orientée vers une croissance exponentielle du monde du désir dont le point d’orgue idéologique se situe au tournant des années 1970. On croit alors que la consommation résoudra le problème du désir. Or, devant l’infini des possibilités de consommation, cette société n’arrive plus aujourd’hui à cacher son ennui, et est incapable de produire des valeurs allant au-delà de l’égotisme et d’un narcissisme socialement destructeur (Chassay, nc). Michel Houellebecq profane ainsi le régime du désir que des slogans comme « il est interdit d’interdire » ou « jouir sans entrave » ont durablement installé dans l’imaginaire social libéral. Il est systématiquement en porte à faux avec celles et ceux qui ont inventé ces slogans car il postule l’impossibilité du désir comme projet culturel universel et condamne le culte de la jeunesse (Abecassis, 2000). On l’accuse de toutes les perversités alors qu’il est le fossoyeur d’une idéologie de la consommation qui fait du sexe la réponse hédoniste au nihilisme existentiel (Versterberg, 2003). C’est le monde que Michel Houellebecq veut regarder dans sa propre nudité pour remettre de la hauteur dans le projet somme toute un peu mièvre de recherche du bonheur à tout prix.

En s’attaquant avec une lucidité infernale à la téléologie du quotidien imposé par le relativisme postmoderne, Michel Houellebecq constate un échec existentiel qui fait écho à l’échec de la société de consommation à créer du sens. Il n’y a plus chez lui d’alibi pour consommer, et le héros moderne doit s’orienter sur le chemin de la connaissance (Abecassis, 2000). La position de Michel Houellebecq est en fait une oscillation entre deux états de réception, la dépression et la sérénité. Le premier, négatif, correspond à la mélancolie de la perte du monde et de la fatigue d’être soi qui donnent un aspect noir et obscur à ses romans. Le second est au contraire nourri de l’espérance d’un monde meilleur et d’une confiance inébranlable en l’être humain au contraire du cynisme que trop de critiques rapides veulent voir en lui (Monnin, 2002). Michel Houellebecq n’est pas un nihiliste. C’est un idéaliste déçu dont le messianisme scientifique et la confiance dans le progrès renvoie au moralisme des Lumières du 18ème siècle. Enfin, Michel Houellebecq est l’auteur français contemporain le plus lu dans le monde. Ces romans sont traduits dans une trentaine de langues et ce succès sans doute confirme la justesse de sa position. Car, si Michel Houellebecq s’attache au départ à la dépression de l’homme occidental, et, les mêmes causes produisant les mêmes effets, le phénomène de mondialisation économique contemporain entraine la mondialisation du sentiment de dépossession, de perte de soi et d’inadéquation au monde comme il va dont il s’est fait le hérault. La globalisation du capitalisme rend universelle la froide lucidité houellebecqienne. Et la crise financière actuelle donne une nouvelle acuité à son analyse. Il est celui qui le mieux, raconte la réalité de ce libéralisme global amoral qu’on a pu croire émancipateur, et qui est devenu la condition de l’homme moderne. Il nous rappelle que le bonheur ne sortira pas d’un téléphone gadget ou d’un écran plat. Michel Houellebecq propose donc, sous couvert de romans d’anticipation, une phénoménologie du quotidien et une eschatologie métaphysique dont on sort un peu triste, mais plus lucide. C’est pour cela que, pour le meilleur et pour le pire (Monnin, 2001), il faut lire Houellebecq.

米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克：樂觀主義者

米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克可謂一個多面人。他集詩人、作家、電影編劇、導演於一身，同時還是一名歌手，或者更確切地說跟着音樂引吭而歌。他脫離現實、喜歡挖苦、有時極具挑逗性。總之在其身上體現出一種法國式的激情。他的書一經出版，便是一件大事，令法國文壇其他消息黯然失色。批評界聞聲而起，群情激憤。有人說他是天才，是當今的卡繆、塞利納。而另一些人則認為他是一個裝腔作勢的人、一個招搖撞騙的紈袴子弟。批評界花盡時間去確定他是右派抑或左派，種族主義者抑或厭惡女性的人、色情聚會的參加者抑或戀童癖者。以上這些或許均與他無涉，他只是攪亂線索、混淆視聽，以便創作自己的傳奇故事。那他究竟提出了甚麼，竟讓批評界如此對立，互不相讓？他究竟說了甚麼，竟如此激怒人？答案的確非常複雜多樣，因為他是一個飄忽不定的人，熱衷於逃避慣常的簡單化。

首先，閱讀米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克的小說，彷彿面對一個嚴謹完美的事物，它竭力把我們的眼光轉向當今世界。他以傳統的敘事風格將我們帶到幻想小說的氣氛中，悲劇性的諷刺口吻常令讀者稍停片刻。其實他只是要求讀者暫時不打電話、關掉電視機並暫時停止購物，稍稍“退後一步”，在這後退一步的空隙中，來感受個人對外面這個商品異化的世界的理解的力量。對他而言，這挪動的一步深含意義，令我們明白選擇的自由並非自由，自由化並非自由。在烏艾爾貝克現實地獄的中心有兩個平行的主題：商品化和性。他認為經濟自由化和性自由化一樣，製造絕對的貧困。對貧窮與失業的回應是自慰和孤獨。作品的源頭是痛苦。由誘惑轉向自由化市場，這種轉變產生性的痛苦（Extension du domaine de la lutte, 1994），對此，他看到兩種解決方法。首先，是極具佛教色彩的，即剷除罪惡的源頭：慾望。他還看到了科學的方法，無性生殖，以無性繁殖來根除慾望及其帶來的暴力（Les particules élémentaires, 1998）。另一種方法是全球色情產業制度化（Plateforme, 2001）。就這樣，他圍繞着這些敏感的題材：複製人類、色情旅遊、恐怖主義等進行創作，他的小說引起公憤，遭到非議。批評家指他宣揚暴力，謾罵之聲四起。對他有這樣一種強烈的傾向，即把他小說中人物的話和小說作者聯繫起來。作者刻意，並津津有味地運用的迂迴曲折手法更加深了這種傾向。然而，即使有不堪入耳的話，亦只針對眼前世界，而少有針對未來。他以極其敏銳的分析眼光透視現代社會功利主義的荒謬，只是將他所觀察的世界推向邏輯的盡頭，並予其讀者在面對這個資本主義社會發展的必然產物：享樂主義時，有一個必要的批判空間（Chassay, nc）。他勾勒出一幅自由主義社會的圖畫，在這個社會中，鬥爭的範圍從此擴展至尋求愛、放縱愛慾的複雜的人際關係中，而這是以權力、財富、恐懼、死亡為背景的（Robitaille, 2004）。

在米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克對性享樂思想的批判中，可見到兩代人的決裂，這部份解釋了他在法國引起的攻擊。1945年後，西方世界人慾橫流，艷幟高張，1970年達至頂峰。人們以為消費可以解決慾望問題，然而在漫無邊際的消費世界面前，今天，這個社會已無法隱藏它自身的苦悶，亦無法產生比孤芳自賞、自戀自大這種對社會具破壞力的情懷更有價值的東西（Chassay, nc）。米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克就這樣，貶斥那慾望的制度，它由“不准禁止”或“盡情享受”這些口號長期地建立在想像的自由社會中。他總是和這些口號的創作者對峙，處境危殆，他宣稱，沉溺於慾望是行不通的，正如文化全球化行不通一樣，並譴責青年的偶像崇拜（Abecassis, 2000）。儘管人們指責他邪惡，道德敗壞，但他卻是消費意識形態的掘墓人，消費思想將性變成一種享樂，以回應存在的虛無（Versterbert, 2003）。米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克欲赤裸裸地透視這個世界，以便給他仍很稚弱的不惜一切尋求幸福的計劃更高的地位。

他非常清醒地攻擊由後現代相對主義提出的日常目的論，証實了現存的失敗反映了欲創造新意的消費主義社會的失敗。他迴避不了消費這個問題，當代英雄必須在認識的道路上明辨方向（Abecassis, 2000）。米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克其實是在兩種狀態：抑郁消沉及和平安詳之間搖擺。前者是負面的，與世界的沒落和生存的疲憊所引起的憂郁有關，賦予其小說陰郁黑暗的一面。另一面則截然相反，充滿對一個更美好的世界的希望、對人類不可動搖的信念，而遠非某些性急的批評家以為在他身上看到的犬儒主義（Monnin, 2002）。米歇爾．烏艾爾貝克不是一個虛無主義者。他是一個失望的理想主義者，其科學救世以及對進步的信念是十八世紀啟蒙思想家道德主義的迴響。最後，他是當今擁有最多讀者的法國作家，其作品被譯成三十多種語言，這成就確定了他的地位。如果說他以關注西方人的消沉開始，有因必有果，他亦是當代經濟全球化帶來的全球性的被剝奪感、失落感以及與這個世界的不適應感這些現象的預報者。資本主義的全球化令烏艾爾貝克的冷靜、清晰的分析具普世價值。而當下的金融危機更突顯了他的分析。他是將不道德的全球自由主義敘述得最好的一個人，曾幾何時，人們還將它視為人類的解放者，它卻成了現代人的生存條件。他提醒我們幸福不是來自手機、電腦這些小玩意。他借助幻想小說向我們提出了一種日常現象學及一種形而上的末世學，當然在探究一番後，未免令人感到憂愁，但會變得更清醒。因此，是好是歹，都應該讀一讀烏艾爾貝克。

Tu es ma came. You are my drug.

2009-10-20T09:25:00.008+02:00

I like Carla Bruni. But, like a lot of people, I was so shocked and disappointed when I learned about her marriage to Sarkozy.

Luckily she didn't give up on singing and song-writing. And this song is my song of the moment. Tu es ma came. I'm totally addicted.

Unexpected 想不到

2009-10-18T19:10:00.009+02:00

That night, as usual, he said he couldn't meet up with me. But somehow, I had a bizarre feeling that I would see him.

My friend's sister and brother-in-law were coming back to Hong Kong and we have arranged to meet up after their dinner. Since they're going to have dinner in Wan Chai, so I suggested to go to The Pawn. It wasn't opened yet when they were last here.

After a few rounds of drinks, my friend's sister was whinging that the place is too "gwai lo" and wanted to go to a local bar. Well the few of us who are local actually found it difficult. Is there really a local bar in Wan Chai? We only know about the so-called "gwai lo" places like The Pawn, 1/5. Or, the girlie bars or pick up joints along Lockhart Road and Jaffe Road... At this point, the only white guy among us - the brother-in-law said, "Oh last time S brought us to a local bar - where people play dice games. It's not far from here. I'll show you."

Well, what could we say? So we headed towards Jaffe Road even though we wondered where we're going... Obviously, the mysterious local bar was not to be found. We were near Joe Banana's when we finally gave up. There were two bars upstairs and we just thought we should give it a go. The first one had a live band but it was way too loud to have any conversation there. Once we stepped into the other bar... the words "meat market" popped up. Seeing as none of us had any idea where else to go, we decided to have a drink there.

As we walked towards the bar, time seemed to stand still.

He was there.

I sent a text to him while my friends were ordering. My hands were shaking uncontrollably.

He was with a guy and a girl. Was that his girl friend? Or catch of the day? Honestly, I didn't want to know.

He didn't seem to have seen me but his male friend was staring at me.

In the end my friend saw him too and asked if I wanted them to beat him up. I of course said no, thank you. Not that I wanted to defend him. It's just that I'm a nobody. Who am I to have a say in this? And I've known that for too long...

I wasn't too worked up that night. But still I cried after I got home.

那天晚上，一如以往，他說不能和我見面。可是不知怎的，我有種莫名其妙的預感，覺得會碰到他。

好朋友C的妹妹及妹夫從英國回來，約好了晚飯後見。得知他們在灣仔吃飯，我便提議到 The Pawn。上次他們回來時，好像還未開幕。

酒過三巡，妹妹說這兒太洋化了，建議找間港式酒吧繼續飲。這下可考起我們這班港燦了。在灣仔，較為 up market 的酒吧都很「洋化」，如 The Pawn、1/5 等。而其餘的，就是洛克道、謝斐道一帶的 girlie bars 或 pick up joints。真的不知可以帶他們到哪兒去。怎料身為老外的妹夫卻在此時說：「上次 S 君帶我去了一間 local bar，有人玩骰盅那種呢！就在附近，我帶你們去。」

就這樣，我們一行六人便向謝斐道方向走，縱然大家都滿腹狐疑 ... ... 最後，當然找不到傳聞中的 local bar。行至 Joe Banana's，我們終於放棄，看到樓上也有兩間酒吧，便走上去看個究竟。首先進的一間有 live band，但實在太噪了。下層的一間 ... ... 一行進便有一股濃烈的 meat market 氣息湧上來，很有當年 Fenwick 的風格！但既然一場來到，也不妨喝一杯才走吧。就在行往酒吧的途中，時間彷彿停頓了。

他，在那兒。

就在朋友 order 啤酒時，我發短訊給他。我的手抖得很厲害。

他和一男一女一起。那是他的女朋友？還是 catch of the day 呢？說實的，我不想知道。

後來朋友 C 都看到他了。她問我要不要替我打他出一口氣。我當然說不。並不是我那麼維護他，只是，我算是老幾呢？憑甚麼呢？

那晚回到家，並沒有太激動，但還是哭了。

Baking

2009-10-18T08:45:00.011+02:00

I've been meaning to pick up baking for a while now.

Finally I made these muffins today.

I thought about making a cake for someone's birthday last week. But then I was just so swamped with my freelance stuff the weekend and I had to give up baking once again.

Maybe it's really not meant for him.

Yesterday I managed to find an easy enough recipe for these apple muffins. The only problem was I couldn't find buttermilk in supermarkets.

"Dear Chef, Question - can I replace buttermilk with milk?"

"Probably yogurt, not milk."

In the end my substitute for buttermilk was 1 tablespoon of lemon juice added to the milk. It worked.

But I still couldn't share these with him. He's busy, as usual.

Well, doesn't matter. I'm sure my parents would love to have my homemade goodies.

A note

2009-10-01T20:20:00.008+02:00

I returned home one day to find my dad has left me a note.

And suddenly it dawned on me that my father seldom writes in Chinese. Although he never had the chance to receive proper education (he studied in a primary school for one or two years only), he learned his English while working at an American firm. And since then, English has been his default written language.

I guess this, amongst other things, has made our family kind of "open" to foreign languages. While my parents were not the kind who speak to us in (bad) English and had never forced us to pointlessly memorize new words, we don't dislike English.

We watched English TV programmes and listened to English songs not because our parents wanted us to learn the language but simply because we enjoyed them. Of course that did help us learn new words and expressions but it's never forced and I think that's very important in second language learning.

I notice from my nephew and my friends' kids that nowadays children do have a tendency to "reject" English. My nephew hates it when I switch to an English TV channel. And he would always opt for the Cantonese dubbed version of his favourite Disney/Pixar/Dreamworks animations. Come dictation time, oh dear... This never happened to us.

I'm getting old, whinging too much haha ...

The society still acknowledge that English is important - or should I say getting good grades in English is very important. And so students simply go to a tutorial class to learn from those celebrity tutors all the tips and techniques to excel in public exams...

想得遠了

2009-08-30T08:49:00.003+02:00

今天看完黃偉文於蘋果日報的專欄，突然感慨良多。讀到這一小段，眼淚差點就湧出來了。

「忽然明白：就算今天這個人亂着衫令你束手無策，只因在那年那月那日，他/她在適當的時候穿對了一件你喜歡的衫走進你生命裏……像你需要的時候那首催淚的歌來襲。

只要對一次，已刻骨銘心。」

只是一件很普通的白色長袖Tee。在那風和日麗的下午，人來人往的巴黎街頭，那個笑容，那件白Tee ... ...

重逢已是四年後的一個晚上，我在你家門口等了兩個小時，差點以為老遠乘飛機來到被放飛機，你便從電梯出來，頭髮有點蓬鬆，神情有點憔悴。我並沒有注意到你著的是甚麼衣服，只留意到那鮮艷紅色messenger bag，很襯你。

之後發生了很多事。最後，我們還是不能一起。

想得遠了 ... ...

就這樣，我又一次哭了。

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之四： Why are you speaking in Mandarin?

2009-08-13T20:03:00.005+02:00

承上文，本來小女子以為各方友好會熱烈提供史上最屎搭訕例子，點知門庭冷落。

碰啱最近又有不識死之徒出現，唯有再次將自己的慘痛經歷獻世，希望能收拋磚引玉之效。

某個晚上約了朋友喝東西，我早到，於是邊飲邊等。不久，發現有人站在我身旁的茶几上，並對著我說話。

他：##%^#@

我：吓？

他：##%^#@

噢，原來是講國語的白人... ... 他想我讓開，好讓他可以行過，去廁所。這麼爛的藉口，真虧他想得出，做得到。

不久，他又回來，原來他的朋友們就坐在我後面。他繼續跟我講那五音不全的國語。

他：##%^#@

我：吓？

他：##%^#@

我：Why are you speaking in Mandarin? Can you speak Cantonese?

他：er, no... ##%^#@##%^#@##%^#@ （這是他的國語，別誤會是粗口）

嘩，又煩又低能又嘈又口齒不清（又唔靚仔，哈哈），於是我便轉過面，費事理他。點知他竟然毅力無比，繼續口水多過茶地練習他的國語。我實在忍無可忍，送了他一個「殊」。

他：Did you just shush me ?

我：Yeah

他：You can't shush me !

我：I just did.

他：##%^#@ （依然是他的國語，要講粗口的應該是我）

終於他放棄了，並走到另一班朋友處。耳根清靜，thank god.

#*@#%^%&##@ （這當然是我心裡的說話）

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之三： What have I done to deserve this?

2009-07-27T14:48:00.006+02:00

某日下午相約朋友在上環見面。我早到了，於是便先去買杯咖啡。一踏入咖啡店，便見到那站在櫃位前等候他 order 的食物的洋漢把我上下打量，然後還附加淫邪笑容一個。我心想，帶著黑超的是我，代表我可以肆無忌憚望你而不讓你知道，not vice versa，低能。然後...

我向服務員 order：一杯 iced latte，唔該。
他向我搭訕：噢，你知唔知今日星期五，如果你要 iced latte，我就有買一送一㗎？
我：（在墨鏡後反一下眼）哦
他：你都有九折㗎。
我：（再反眼）哦。唔該一個 croissant 吖。
他：噢弊，佢唔啋我。Total rejection...
我：（除了反眼，仲可以點？）
他：（還不識死）咦，你向呢頭返工㗎？
我：No
他：住喺附近？
我：No
他：嚟呢頭 shopping？
我：（大佬，上環 shop 咩 ping 呀。買海參定魚翅呀。不過費事再糾纏）Yeah

幸好這時我的咖啡已經到了，錢亦付過，可以閃開。The moral of the story - 下次反應要快啲，遇到騎呢人士，要即刻扮唔識佢的語言。佢講英文，你便講廣東話；佢講廣東話，你便講國語；如此類推。最好就係你轉個頭就同隔離嘅人講佢講的語言，包佢即時明晒你嘅意思。這是繼「做乜你頭先唔啋我個鬼佬朋友呀？你怕佢多毛呀？」之後，最騎呢的 pick up line。如果你有更經典的，歡迎與大家分享。

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之二：一個電話 | Mis(s)Adventure, trial and tribulation 2: a phone call

2009-05-30T06:06:00.012+02:00

「別怕，包在我身上。我一個電話，他明天就會在香港消失。」

這並不是江湖電影內的對白，是百分百真人真事，由我的朋友真心說出。

長話短說，最近有一個人令我很不開心，於是四處向朋友傾訴。除了得到她們的陪伴、安慰和獻計，有好幾位甚至一邊拍心口，一邊豪氣的對我作出上述誓言。

別誤會，說這句話的朋友們，絕對「身家清白」，並不是甚麼有背境人士。我們都是斯文人，沒有殺人放火的習慣。只是，那位令我失落無比的人，嚴格來講，是非法勞工一名… … 於是，疼愛我的朋友，只是想替我出頭，打電話到入境處，警惡逞奸、除暴安良而已。

姊妹們對我的關心，我真的非常感激。而且這樣戲劇性的發展，也著實有趣 ── 如果那不是發生在自己身上的話… …

我，又怎捨得呢。

“You know, I can make him disappear with just a phone call.”

Seriously, this is not a line from the movies. My friend actually said that to me.

To cut a long story short, lately someone has been making my life miserable and so I talked to my dear friends about it. Not only did they offer much needed consolation and sharp suggestions, a few of them eagerly gave me that promise and said it with such conviction.

Don’t get it wrong. My friends are no mafia. None of us has the habit of killing or hurting people. It’s just that the one who left me so hapless, is strictly speaking, not legal in Hong Kong. My friends simply wanted to do the right thing: to help me and to teach him a lesson by calling the Immigration Department.

I of course must thank my friends for standing by my side. And to be honest, such drama is quite irresistible – if only I’m not in it.

How could I want that to happen?

Mis(s)Adventure 不定期連載之一：一般見識

2009-04-26T17:22:00.004+02:00

托朋友的福，參加了她「生日週」裡眾多飯局派對之一。

用最簡單的方法去形容這飯局，就是 dinner for six。出席人數不是重點，所持態度才是。首先男女人數均等，坐位安排指定男女男女，害得我不能和壽星女認真談心誠意賀壽。還有，男的全是洋人，女的香港同胞（內心在爭扎應否用港女這字眼）。明眼人一看，就知是甚麼一回事吧。

不要緊，我對自己說，我是來戥朋友高興的。而基於工作關係，吹水是難不到我的。於是便開始和身旁兩位男士閒聊。話題不知怎的扯到「香港回歸後的情況」，英國男士對於英國曾經統治香港十分驕傲，並說他的朋友都告訴他回歸後，香港實在一落千丈。一向並不愛港愛國的我，也委實不能對此苟同。英國人於是要求我舉例，我說了一些進步了，亦說了那些退步了的事情。他不甘心，但又沒法提出具體事情反駁。就這樣，我真的火都來了。於是我正眼看著他，問：「請問你來了香港多久？」

「三年。」

「同我收聲！」

坐在我對面的德國人也忍不住哈哈大笑起來。

接著，惟有談些風花說月，令氣氛輕鬆點。說著說著，談到自己剛剛從法國玩樂回來。英國人便問我是否懂法文，我答 oui。他竟然說，你不能只說一個字便代表懂得法文呢。哈哈，於是我以法文跟他說，我的法文比您的普通話好。（他懂得一點普通話，但和很多洋人一樣，犯了不分聲調的怪病，只有聰明人才能明白他說甚麼。）聽罷他只好說，其實自己完全不諳法語，對面的德國人便充當翻譯，並加多句，which I think is probably true。

餘下的晚上，其實還有一兩段如此這般的對話，不過不提也罷。（不過如果你對我好，下次見面時或許我會告訴你。）

然而，雖然窒到那麼應棍，心裡還是不高興。原來抱這種大英主義（大白人主義？），並且自以為是到這境地的還大有人在。而，我為甚麼還要坐在這呢。

歸根究底，那位英國紳士一向遇到的香港美女，都是又天真又傻的典型，對著洋男會以高八度聲線說英語，配以大量嘻笑，小量內涵應對。再加上，這樣的場合和配搭，我又的確不能怪他的。

最後要向我親愛的壽星女說，不要介懷，其實那晚我很開心，因為很久沒有寸人寸得咁應咁放肆了。That bunch actually made my day ;p

最最後還要補充，我親愛的壽星女也算是半推半就，被人用她的生日作藉口之下，才不好意思不參與是次飯局的。鄭重聲明，她和我，與當晚其他飲食男女，絕對不是同一纇型的。

Code-mix overload

2009-01-20T15:18:00.004+01:00

It could only happen in Hong Kong.

I went to a seminar on internet marketing last week which made me wonder whether we are truly "bilingual".

The seminar was supposed to be in Cantonese. While I appreciate that most of the participants use both English and Chinese on a daily basis, I started to feel really uneasy 10 minutes into the presentation. All I heard was way too much code-mixing. Indeed, a lot of jargons do not have a good/readily understood Chinese equivalent (in Hong Kong at least). But surely we could have done without dropping fillers like "that's why", "actually" all the time?

Imagine sitting for an hour listening to sentences like this:

that's why 每次 launch 一個 campaign 我地都要 make sure 個 ROI 係高，otherwise 就唔 worth 去做呢個 campaign。

I mean, is it so difficult to translate those English words? After 30 minutes, I gave up. The fact that there was not enough "meat" in the seminar didn't help at all...

While trying to stay awake and look professional for the rest of the seminar, I thought that this could only happen in Hong Kong. In mainland China or in Taiwan, all these terms have a proper Chinese equivalent that people actually use and understand. In Singapore or Malaysia, the seminar would have been in English anyway.

And who can we blame but ourselves? Everyday we write and read emails, reports, letters in English. But most of the time we speak and "think" in Cantonese. We don't seek to improve either language. And, sadly, it seems to be the norm. Nobody questions it. If the English in the report you wrote wasn't that good, you're generally excused because of the fact that: 1. people who read it understood it; 2. you are not a native speaker; 3. as long as the content is good (correct), then it's fine. And so we all get by.

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T10:58:00.003+01:00

New year resolutions:

1. Be happy

2. Stay healthy. Try to do some sports.

3. Work harder on my French

4. Be happy (oh, I've said that already. But it's really important...)

And what about you?

Joyeux anniversaire

2008-12-27T03:14:00.011+01:00

One year older, but none wiser.

I was thinking to have a very quiet birthday this year - the same thing I wanted for the past few years. But friends had been very kind to organise a Christmas x Birthday party and so I went along. It was good. We all had great fun.

It was the ever sensitive K who caught me off guard. At one point, she said, "Hey, why do you look so sad?"

Did I really? I think I've been like this for too long. Getting bored easily. Never be able to fully enjoy the good company of my beloved friends. Just wanting to be lost in my thoughts. And so I did.

To make things worse, it was his birthday yesterday - two days after mine. And so all the unwelcomed memories came up again.

Joyeux anniversaire.

Change

2008-12-19T06:42:00.007+01:00

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Change.

How difficult can it be? Surely we change things, ideas, tastes, jobs, apartment, diet, even partneres/lovers as often as we like.

But what about behaviours? personalities?

Our personalites affect how we behave. What if one day the love of your life left you because of he/she cannot bear with the major flaws of your personality? Would you, could you change how you behave in order to please him/her?

I'm sure we are all willing to "do something, anything" for love. But for how long? Can we really transform ourselves into an all-new person and stay happily ever after? Or are we just a selfish person who would not leave the comfort of our old habits. Are we afraid of losing our identity if we adopt changes? And why should we be the one who change? Why can't the other change for us?

Les Bons souvenirs

2008-12-17T06:57:00.008+01:00

L’été.

Le Pays Basque.

Elle est en vacances. La plage, le soleil, la mer. La montagne, la vague, le vent. De la cuisine Basque, de la glace, de la sangria. Bien sûr, c’est la recette des bonnes vacances et elle le sait. Elle est là mais elle pense toujours à Paris. Elle pense à lui.

Une semaine après, elle retourne à Paris. Beaucoup a changé chez lui. Il y a des nouveaux meubles, un nouvel ordinateur. Des nouveaux vêtements, une nouvelle paire de baskets. Dans la cuisine, les plats, les tasses, même les fourchettes et les cuillères - tous sont nouveaux. Et puis, les trucs avec ses guitares marchent bien finalement. Il dit « Tu vois, les choses s’améliorent peu à peu, non ? » Il y a aussi le régime. Maintenant, après le régime végétarien, le « sans produits laitiers », il en suit un nouveau. Cette fois ci, c’est « sans gluten ». Son médecin lui a dit qu’il est allergique du gluten et c’est pour ça qu’il est souvent malade. Elle trouve que c’est drôle mais elle ne dit rien.

Pendant les jours qui suivent, il semble que tout a changé. Il apparaît plus à laisse avec elle. C’est bizarre. Quand ils étaient en couple, il était facilement énervé. Toutes les choses pouvaient l’ennuyer. La distance. Le fait qu’ils ne savaient pas quand ils pourront se revoir. Son boulot. Sa vie sociale colorée - trop colorée avec les fêtes sans arrêt et des hommes autour d’elle. Sa fidélité. Sa confiance. Les incertitudes. Le manque d’argent.

C’est vrai que tout le monde lui a dit que ça ne marche pas. Même lui, surtout lui. Finalement ils se sont séparés. Il a dit qu’il ne pouvait plus supporter une relation comme ça. Peut-être c’est mieux s’ils restent amis.

Le dernier jour à Paris. Il pleut. Donc, elle ne bouge pas. En regardant la pluie qui frappe la fenêtre, elle espère secrètement un miracle. Une décision de dieu qui tombe du ciel qui peut changer sa vie.

La nuit tombe. Il n’y a aucun miracle. Elle part de son appartement pour l’aéroport. Il l’accompagne jusqu’au Métro, sans un mot. Elle ne supporte pas le silence. Mais elle n’arrive pas trouver les bons mots. Elle sait que quelque soit qu’elle dise, cela risque d’être une insulte pour lui.

Dans le train à Roissy, les autres passagers sont excités de leurs voyages. Pour elle, le retour à Hong Kong ne l’excite jamais. Ca veut dire une séparation de nouveau. En réfléchissant, ses larmes coulent. Elle prend conscience que cette fois ci, c’est vraiment fini. Et ça la rend triste.

Maintenant, elle ne peut que garder les bons souvenirs. Les petits riens, en fait.

Last night I dreamt that somebody...

2008-11-25T20:05:00.009+01:00

Another sleepless night.

I blame it on the coffees that I had this afternoon. I can also blame it on stress and nervousness - tomorrow's my first day back to work after a ten-day hiatus. I can most certainly blame it on the after effects of the surgery.

But of course I know I am the only one to blame.

Why do I still care? Why is he still lingering in my head? Why do I still weep in the middle of the night? Why?

The same thing happened a couple of nights after the surgery. As I had the luxury of staying home and do nothing, I finally managed to catch up on my sleep. Which also means I had the luxury to have dreams, lots of it. And there he was. I wasn't surprised to see him there. Nothing dramatic happened. It was so uneventful that it felt good.

When I woke up, I just wanted to take the next plane to see him. I even searched on the web to find out how much the flight would cost.

Well, in the end I stayed put. Obviously it would have been the most stupid thing to do. But the fact that I actually thought about doing it made me ill at ease for a couple of days.

I have been telling myself that one day I will be able to look back and laugh about it. But when will that day arrive? Right now, I still do not have the strength to step out of this mess.

Artichoke

2008-09-29T19:38:00.012+02:00

How simple things can bring us great pleasure and quietly leave a mark in our lives always amazes me.

I went out for dinner with my two best friends the other night. I saw artichoke on the menu and ordered it as my starter without much thought. Artichoke is not the most common food in this corner of the world and so my friends were quite surprised to see a plant landing on the table. As I told them where to buy, how to cook and eat this curious thing, I realised why I ordered this.

Ten days in Paris. We were skint. We had simple food. Good food. Toasts and half-boiled eggs. Croissants and pains aux chocolats. Chocolats. More chocolats. Yaouts. Artichokes. Broccoli. More veggies. Chinese fried rice.

We were so happy.

Unfortunately that didn't last.

And that artichoke-eating evening made me wonder when will I finally walk out of this shadow.

慵懶的巴斯克和巴黎

2008-09-13T16:07:00.065+02:00

近幾次旅行都是在秋冬交替之時，而基於要扮有型而盡量少穿兩件衣服，於是經常處於瑟縮狀態，並未能盡享旅程，所以今年決定要在夏天出發，準備到法國南部享受地中海的陽光。怎料原本一起同行的朋友因公務在身而不能成事。正在苦惱是否又要等到入秋才可出遊之際，一位法國朋友跟我說，法國南部雖好，然而 Saint Tropez、尼斯、康城等熱點卻越來越遊客氾濫了，建議我去 Le Pays Basque，即法國西南部一帶的巴斯克地區。說那兒也風景優美，當地人態度親切，食物美味，還有大西洋的陽光與海灘，最重要的是沒有南部那麼媚俗。聽罷真叫他做領隊，立刻帶我去，最後當然沒有，but that's another story。最終還是一人成團，再次獨自上路。

決定了放棄南部，轉而向巴斯克出發，便著手做資料搜集，發現不論是在書店或網上，都沒有太多中英語的相關資料，難道不諳法文便去不成？唯有向難度挑戰。而當我跟朋友說到巴斯克地區時，大家的頭頂都出現了問號，直至我說：「巴斯克分離份子你知道吧」，大家才醒起有這樣的一個地方。不過不用擔心，恐怖份子主要活躍於西班牙境內，況且近年亦已較為沉寂了。

假期只有兩星期，而貪心的我又想借故逗留巴黎幾天，順道購物和探朋友，於是只選擇 Bayonne 和 Biarritz 兩個落腳點。首站是 Bayonne，由巴黎乘 TGV 高速火車約需五小時。預早在網上訂票可以找到便宜一點的 iDTGV 車票，並省卻了排隊輪侯和語言不通等難題，美中不足的是班次選擇不多，例如這一程便只有早上七時十五分的一班！從朋友十九區的家乘 Métro 到 Montparnasse 火車站，足足要一句鐘。對於討厭早起的我，這可謂是全程的「污點」。

但晨早上車的好處就是中午時分已經到達目的地了。下車後迅速到酒店 check-in，放下行李便出外覓食。入住的 Hotel Adour 距離火車站不遠，步行兩分鐘便到，而且雖然不是五星級酒店，但也十分舒適整潔，內裡布置亦都很有心思。那是星期天，意外地看到很多餐廳均開門營業，想必然是這裡有頗多遊客吧。至於其他商店，則大部分都關了門，有些甚至星期一也休息呢。其實 Bayonne 很易行，大部分的商店都集中在 Rue du Pont Neuf、Rue Victor Hugo 及 Rue de l’Orbe 一帶，而大教堂也就在附近。沿著 La Nive 河兩岸，則佈滿餐廳，主攻海鮮及地區菜式。

第二天早上到了當地旅遊局，看看有否合適的一日遊。然而選擇不多，有點失望，只有巴士團 ── 即是與一班通常是退休人士的團友上車、到達目的地、自行找節目那種。最終選了西班牙 Guggenheim Museo Bilbao 一日遊，隔天出發。

之後在到市中心遊蕩，看到數間朱古力專門店，原來巴斯克人是從當年發現新大陸的西班牙探險家那裡，學會用可可豆製造朱古力的。二話不說，便買下我一向喜愛的 orangettes，黑朱古力包裹著橙皮，是經典口味，不過沒有立即試食，留待回巴黎時與朋友分甘同味。

逛著逛著，發現這兒真的頗多遊客，不過還是以歐美人士居多，當中大部分是法國本土和西班牙自遊人。亞洲人嘛，看來不超過十人。於是我頓時變成奇珍異獸之一，坐在露天咖啡座的伯伯高聲對我說 konichiwa… … 令我想起數年前我的法文老師跟我們說，雖然他已來港工作多年，但每次回家省親，他的鄉親父老總是問他：「你還在香港工作嗎？日本人是怎樣的？」他早已放棄解釋了。而我當然心有不甘，立時向伯伯搖頭說non，料不到他竟然改口問我是否韓國人！

令人驚喜的是 M usée Basque et de l’Histoire de Bayonne ﹝巴斯克及Bayonne歷史博物館﹞。本來一廂情願的以為會是老套死板地陳列著悶蛋的文物，豈料這所由一幢古老巴斯克建築物改建而成的博物館，外貌古典，內裡卻頗現代化。現代化者，當然並不是指館內的歷史藏品，而是其佈局、燈光、裝置、展覽流程等，實在花了不少心思和創意。總的來說，是一個內容充實，有內涵有趣味，並賞心悅目的展覽。

相比之下，馳名的 Museo Guggenheim Bilbao 就比較令我失望。論規模、知名度，古根漢理所當然的跑贏九條街，而 Frank Gehry 的建築也確實出色，可是館內的展品，卻真有點反高潮。長駐館內的展品有美籍藝術家 Richard Serra 分別於 1997 及 2005 年，特別為博物館創作的 site-specific 作品 Snake 和 The Matter of Time。龐大的場地，聳立了數組由鋼板製成的巨型雕塑，遊走在這迷宮之中，觀者可有甚麼體驗呢？或許在當年是頗為震撼和破格的，可是到了 2008 年，我們已看過太多類同的藝術作品了，無甚驚喜。同期舉行的還有 Juan Muñoz 回顧展及 Surreal Things 超現實主義展覽。Juan Muñoz 的人像雕塑，令我想起近年的大陸話題藝術家岳敏君的大口仔，絕對不是我杯茶。還是比較喜歡超現實，能夠看到達利﹝Salvador Dalí﹞的龍蝦電話及 Mae West 紅唇梳化；René Magritte、Joan Miró 及 Marx Ernst 等超現實祖宗的畫作，還有 Jean Cocteau 的美女與野獸電影片段，算是一種補償吧。

在 Bayonne 最後的一個晚上，到了酒店附近的餐廳，年輕的店員看見我一副遊客模樣，便熱情的送上數本當地的吃喝玩樂指南給我，可惜只能夠告訴他，我已經沒有時間去探索這些地方了，或許留待下次吧。

臨離開前與酒店老闆娘閒聊，她說確實很少亞洲人到 Bayonne，間中會有日本和韓國人。話題接著扯到各國旅客的特色，與及我們一般持有的成見，確然與最近Expedia旅遊網站的調查結果大致相同。

根據老闆娘的貼士，到 Biarritz 坐巴士比火車較為方便，果然沒錯，連等車時間，不足一小時便已到達 Biarritz 市中心。一下車已經感受到與 Bayonne 截然不同的氣氛。Bayonne 比較寧靜祥和，Biarritz 則較有朝氣，亦更像一個旅遊點。

酒店就在沙灘附近，步行不消五分鐘便到。街上盡是酒吧、餐廳、雪糕店、紀念品店等。人嘛，剛上水、赤著腳、拿著滑浪板的 surfers，一家大小的遊客，三五成群放暑假的歐美青年，上至七十下至三歲的當地人，大家都非常悠閒自在，享受著陽光帶來的度假氣氛。

由於在 Bayonne 最後一日天氣並不太好，所以一看到如此陽光普照的場景，便急不及待換上小背心熱褲人字拖墨鏡，入鄉隨俗一番。

Biarritz 能成為法國以至歐洲上流人士的度假勝地，有賴拿破崙三世的皇后 Eugénie，原籍西班牙的她，從小就每年都與家人到 Biarritz 度假。貴為皇后之後，依然沒有忘記這漂亮的地方，就在 1854 年帶著皇夫到這兒。拿破崙三世一踏足便愛上此地，還在翌年建了 Villa Eugénie。從此 Biarritz 便一舉成名，直到現在，達官貴人、名人明星都愛到這兒度假。此外，美國篇劇 Peter Viertel 於 1956 年將滑浪帶到這兒，令 Biarritz 成為歐洲首個滑浪地點。

在 Biarritz 碰到的人都很友善，酒店對面的餐廳有位穿著傳統巴斯克服裝﹝beret、頸巾、紅色、白色、綠色﹞的伯伯每天負責煮理 paella，不用煮飯的時候，他就坐在附近的露天咖啡座與鄰居朋友談天。每次我經過，他都熱烈地打招呼。我覺得他 exotic 之餘，相信他也覺得我這亞洲人更為 exotic 吧。此外，每天我也到酒店附近的 Ventilo 咖啡店吃早餐，女店主第二天便已記得我，我叫了法包和咖啡，她隨即笑說：「和昨天一樣嘛？」與一般認為法國人都是高傲的，並不符合。我們廣東人都說一樣米養百樣人，或許就是這意思吧。

第一晚到了酒店隔鄰的餐廳吃了很美味的 poulet Basquaise，雞肉嫩滑，即使雞胸部分也不覺得韌。巴斯克菜式多以大量甜椒、蕃茄煮成惹味的醬汁，令我想起廣東菜的蕃茄煮紅衫魚！

始終都要買點東西才安樂，其實出發前已想著必要買兩樣巴斯克特產：朱古力和 espardrilles﹝由幼麻繩做成鞋底、縫上帆布做面﹞。當然 Bayonne 的火腿和 Espelette的辣椒也很出名，很好吃，可是未免有點不便攜帶吧。之前在 Bayonne 時已買了一小包 orangettes 朱古力。在 Biarritz 逛街時見到一所名叫 Daranatz* 的店子，窗櫥吸引我的不是一顆顆 ganache、truffle 等精緻朱古力，始終這些是在法國「應有」的。令我目不轉睛的是一排排的朱古力，與我們慣常見到的不同之處，在於那螢光色的包裝紙。對，一排排螢光色的朱古力！螢光橙、粉紅、綠、黃，亦都有正常的黑色… …而那些螢光紙，令我想起多年前惠康百佳貼在門口，用來展示貨品價錢的海報。我選擇了螢光橙和粉紅，分別是有 Espelette 辣椒的黑朱古力和純黑朱古力，兩種都很好味，可惜不知何時才再可嚐到。

* Daranatz 是法國大報 Le Point 的 food and travel writer Gilles Pudlowski 也推介的，雖然這是後來才知道的。

逗留在 Biarritz 期間，適逢是 La Fête de l’Océan﹝姑且譯為海洋節﹞，其中一個沙灘 Plage de la Côte-des-Basques，一連數晚舉行 Caseta 晚會，當地的餐廳酒吧夜店進駐沙灘上一列列的帳蓬，提供食的飲的聽的，好不熱鬧。而那就是我 Biarritz 之行的最後一個節目了。

總的來說，其實在 Bayonne 和 Biarritz 都並沒有太多精采的事情做，但能夠放下大城市的壓力，輕鬆地慵懶地放假，也不就是最好的享受嗎？

回到巴黎，感覺完全不同，城市的壓逼感就在踏出火車一刻湧上來。好不容易回到朋友家，跟他說全程最辛苦就是剛才那一小時的地鐵車程。單看我的樣子，他還以為我在巴斯克地區玩得不開心呢。

話也得說回頭，巴黎仍然是可愛的，每一次去都有新事物新感覺。出發往 Bayonne 之前，在朋友巴黎家中小住數天。碰巧六月二十一日是每年一度的 Fête de la Musique，在法國各大小城市的每一個角落都有不同形式的音樂節目，由早上一直到深夜。我倆先到蒙馬特逛，有 DJ 打碟，大家就在烈日當空之下，跟隨 techno 節奏舞動。走到另一個街角，一位結他手彈著拉丁風味的樂曲，以吸引了不少途人圍觀。最後在鐵塔附近的 Trocadéro 公園，欣賞露天音樂會，而就在那兒，我拍下了人生第一張艾非爾鐵塔的照片。

離開法國前一日，朋友帶我去巴黎東面的 Bercy 區，那公園很美，有學生坐在草地上看書做功課，當然也有熱情雙擁的愛侶，還有一家大小的。而奇景是有很多跟著寧靜的公園格格不入的 rock 友經過，原來是晚上 Iron Maiden 在附近的 Bercy 體育館舉行演唱會。奇景二是有位西裝骨骨的先生行到玫瑰園仔細欣賞，並不時停下來嗅一嗅花香，很小王子，很浪漫，很法蘭西 ── 我知你一定會笑我崇外媚法，但我只是在想為甚麼我們香港人好像不懂、不會這樣欣賞和珍惜身邊美麗的東西呢？

最後一天在巴黎竟然下大雨，打消了我「血拼」的念頭！白白錯過了夏季大減價。只好安在家中看電視和幻想可有奇蹟出現，令我不需要再回香港。呆了大半天，奇蹟並沒有出現，只好認命，出發回港。

就在北站﹝Gare du Nord﹞往機場的火車上，眼涙不自覺地流下… …究竟下個旅程會在何時？

Recycling your clothes, it's possible !

2008-08-31T12:01:00.003+02:00

I have a friend who always says "oh but you can wear them for ten years" whenever we remark on her extravagant shopping. I used to laugh at her lame excuse and said nobody does that nowadays. Just admit it, we aren't that environmental-conscious.

But the other day I found myself actually still wearing clothes I bought ages ago. A white, mid-length coat and a pencil skirt which I bought eleven years ago! But during most of those eleven years, I couldn't wear them as I had gained so much weight I couldn't even button / zip up. Yes, it was that serious. And for some mysterious reasons, I returned to the same size as before and am now able to wear some of my favourite old clothes. Time to dig out some hidden treasures in the wardrobe. I think there was another pencil skirt and chinos that can "come out" soon.

There is hope.

Although, I don't think I can give up shopping, yet. If I don't buy new things now, how can I save them for future ! ;p

Retail therapy

2008-08-31T11:19:00.005+02:00

Bought a pair of shoes on Friday.

Blue, patent and lambskin, high heels, Chloe. Cost me a fortune (call me cheap or what you will) but made me happy.

Inflation, inflation, inflation ? Almost all of the shoes in the shop starts from a price tag of HK$4,000. Clothes are worse, HK$10,000 seems to be the average. I guess I won't go shopping for a while.

Normally I am not a big spender. I think HK$3,000 for shoes is quite a lot. And I am not into designer handbags. Well, can't afford, more like... But then sometimes it is like I am drawn into this vicious circle. What I want is simply to buy shoes that are pretty and of good quality that are good to go to work. That's when you notice some high street shops are selling mediocre shoes that will not last for a season (in terms of style and quality) at HK$800 - HK$1,000. So, buying brand name stuff seems to be a logical move. But then brand name goods don't start at HK$1,000. The thing is, when you start spending HK$2,500, then HK$3,000 for a "nicer" pair of shoes doesn't seem too extravagant.

So now the bar is raised one more time, HK$4,500 ! I blame it on my recent super stressed work situation... Yes, I was weak.

And hopeless.

Short-sighted

2008-08-28T17:43:00.003+02:00

I have been short-sighted ever since I was eight or nine years old. I rely on my glasses all the time, obviously.

Lately my friends have been telling me I'm not seeing things clearly. Maybe my glasses are tinted. Maybe my glasses are covered with condensation as I come out from a chilly mall. Maybe I simply need to get a new pair. Maybe...

On a good day, I am thankful for my friends' recommendations. At other times, I just wonder how would anyone know what is good for me?

"How could anybody say they know how I feel? The only one around here who is me, is me." (Morrissey)

2008-08-24T15:49:00.001+02:00

施比受更有福？

拋磚引玉？

笑話一則 aka one of my first fashion disasters

2008-08-24T14:51:00.000+02:00

正在看北京奧運閉幕儀式（依然抗拒用「閉幕式」），各國運動員興高采烈地進場。鏡頭一閃，是肯亞的運動員，令我想起陳年往事一則… …

時為老好的八十年代，我還是無知的小學生一個。某天從電視得知 Bermuda shorts 乃來季大熱，跟著便以時裝界代表身分，向小鄰居耀武揚威一番，向他們解釋何謂百慕達短褲。怎料，得來的反應是：「甚麼百慕達短褲？那我這件豈不是肯亞波恤？」經驗尚淺的我，完全招架不來，只有紅著臉，在哈哈哈哈的恥笑聲中，氣憤地走開，心裡說：「不識貨，我不跟你們玩！」

我當然從來沒有著過百慕達短褲，至於肯亞波恤嘛，不就是你我他她牠都擁有無數件的普通T一件囉… …